تساؤلات

نخاف من الموت
نتمسك بحبال الحياة …نصارع أمواجها
نتغلب على بعضها.. و نهزم من قبل البعض
تعصفنا رياحها العاتية..
تطعننا بسكين الألم…تأخذ من نحب منا
و تزرع الغصة في اجوافنا
تذرف دموعنا… تغمر اجسادنا بتيار من الخوف يجعلها ترجف كزلزال مدمر يودي بها.
تعصر قلوبنا ألما..
و تغزو رؤسنا حتى تملؤه الوساوس
و نغدو كدمية متحركة تعلب بحبالها..
فلم نخاف من الموت إن كانت الدنيا تود التخلص منا؟؟
هل نخاف من المجهول؟
هل نخاف من ذلك المشهد الأليم حيث نودع من نحب؟
هل نخاف من عدم تحقيق طموحنا؟
هل نخاف من الوحدة و الوحشة؟
هل و هل و هل
تساؤلات عديدة .. و الرد مجهول….

My confrontation with fear

 

Before college would start, my parents decided to go to Bahrain to buy few things for Ramadan. I have not gone there since my friend died two years ago. She died in a car accident on the bridge between Bahrain and Saudi Arabia. A grieving sudden disaster occurred during Ramadan when I was at my last year at high school. I am shocked till today. Although I am writing about it, my poor mind still resists this torturing fact; the fact that she passed away and will never come back again.

I remember that she was amused by my jokes. Whenever she sees me she asks me to tell her a joke. I am happy I could draw a smile on her cold face.

After many constant attempts from my dear father convincing me to accompany them and after many refusals from me, I finally agreed to go. I thought it would be a chance to have a jolly time before college starts.

For two years I have not gone and the reason was the death of my dear friend. I was coward. I couldn’t face my fear that was torturing me, and breaks my vulnerable heart into several meek pieces that were following the instructions of my subdued mind.

This time was different; my mind was awaken at last. It regained its old mission; to guide me and direct me to the correct reasonable path. A path where I forgot its direction for years; the most precious years of my life. I decided to go and confront fear whatever the consequences might be.

We reached the bridge, my heart was pounding quickly; I thought it would stop. Thoughts were fighting inside my mind. Thankfully, the positive thoughts conquered the negative ones. I asked God to help me as HE the ALMIGHTY always listens and helps those who need HIM. Thanks God everything went well and I defeated my fear. I was protected by my Creator as if HE surrounded me with a powerful bubble..Such moments are important to remind you how week you are.

 

A Friend or Enemy?

 

 We get to know many people in life. Some of which we love others we hate and the rest stand in a neutral zone; they are neither loved nor hated. There is a strange set of people that enter your life uninvited and violate the rules of the heart. They become the best among your friends. You cherish them, care about them, do your best to draw a smile on their angelical faces, wipe a clinging tear on their cheeks, solace them whenever a sorrow invades their kingdom and trust them with your deepest secrets. Days pass. Circumstances test our relationship. We go under many situations and observe. Observing what you might wonder?

The reaction I would say. How this dearly loved person will react. This could be painful. It’s rarely satisfactory. Some at this point are pleased. Others are shocked. Well, it’s better to know instead of following that fellow blindly. Like a child following his mother.

I confronted many kinds of people. Different kinds at college, and had wonderful friends. There is this friend. The most complicated person I have ever met in my life. At times she is nice and caring at others she is envious and ironic. Believe it or not, I can’t end our friendship. I dearly cherish her. I hate her in certain situations yet I respect and highly praise her at others.

You will say how? In the most crucial moments of my life at college when everyone goes outside she comes inside. When everyone pretends to be a fool and not aware that I am drowning in a trouble, she gives me her hand to take me out.

She has many other qualities that force me to stop talking to her or not sitting with her. She might be stubborn and like to get praise more than me. She doesn’t like anyone to praise me. She doesn’t want me to get a higher mark, but when I think deeply about it I say to myself does all of this really matter? I mean is there anything in this world better than a friend that saves you whenever you are in danger or hear your screams when the rest deliberately deaf their ears. She combines the features of both; an enemy and a friend.

And she is both my best friend and my worst enemy.

Strange huh….

 

 

 

Bad News

It’s very difficult to accept bad news. The moment you hear one, a sudden turmoil wiggles your heart.  Your blood rushes and knocks the veins violently.  This powerful war penetrates your soul and changes you forever.

 

When you hear that your friend or one of the members of your family is dead, hurt, ill, or even sad. Thoughts haunt your brain. They block your reasoning. Is it fear or pity? What make us so week in such moments. In most situations both feelings are combined together.

Peoples’ reaction towards a dilemma differs; some burst into tears, others answer by a deep silence, bewildered, they do not believe what is happening. Few would go insane. Crying is the best cure for grief. Silence is the cruelest. It turns the body into storage of sad memories that are recalled whenever a glimpse of the past appears. Insanity is the end of any person’s life, but it’s the least painful.

 

Leading a peaceful life; full of happiness is impossible. This life is achieved there; above in heaven. Work for it now so that you don’t regret later.

 

Hello world!

Hello world,

It’s me. I created this blog to share with you my humble writings. I would like to read your comments; they really matter. I also want to thank my friend Soso for advising me to create this weblog.

Fankoosh